#like idk bitch join the club
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watching kylie fucking jenner cry ab not being able to fit the beauty standard on my timeline makes me giggle . . srry not srry.
#˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏’𝒔 𝒐𝒓𝒃𝒊𝒕 ☆﹒◐#like idk bitch join the club ?? LMAO#a billionaire crying over standards SHE and the rest of her loser lame culture vulture family put into place !!!!#IDCCCCCC#CRYYYYYY#cry like the girls who you lied to about getting surgery did#also bitch there is a literal genocide happening i can give a fuck less about HER deserving sympathy
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when estie and astarion get mistaken for brother n sister by some random absolute cultist for the sixth time since their last long rest:
#idk i find the idea of estie & astarion being confused for siblings all the time very funny#bc they rly do act like brother n sister at times. they fight soooo bad sometimes n just move on without talking abt it#they nearly come to blows at the campfire n 5 mins later she's swinging by his tent to bring him a book n read together#gale joins them sometimes. estie puts her feet in his lap and astarion acts very disgusted the whole time#gale & astarion & estie book club. thnx <3#also he's the only person in the party who's somewhat near her age??? shes younger but not as young as the others#n idk. even tho they disagree w each other at times that kind of shared understanding is hard to ignore#both snooty high elves too. they have the exact same snobby taste in wine and clothes n they loooove to sit together n bitch#plus yknow. 'est' 'ast' names. they could b twins i tell u#anyway. local elf girl loses her big brother to mindflayers n immediately latches on to the nearest blond male elf as her new one more at 1#ch: estrilda nerezac
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this shoot was just so fucking bullshit i dont like being around those guys and it honestly just pissed me off to see all the equipment these people are working with... like oh right well it's awesome that u spent so much money for your little group to make appealing cool films and ur so weird about anybody else using it since it's Technically a club's but let's be fr.. and i was asked to run around up and down floors etc and this one kid was apparently being bitchy abt having to bc men can never not have a tantrum and like i had to go early with the director and dp and like was i on top of my game fucking look at my life NO but i was fine this crew was pretty fucking terrible at delegating and communicating and i feel like i almost retreated into that headspace of oh god this whole thing is going to shit and it's my fault bc things arent organized and theyre running late and that is a large part of my job but its like the first day and again im not even THERE for fucking half of it bc it's a student set and im being asked to run around. oh right early on everyone keeps saying yep we're getting ready and i ask if they need help w equipment and they say no and so im like fucking cool sitting there waiting for our call and steve is like Abby how are we on time and the room falls silent and i was like oh my fucking god. im being dramatic like it's whatever but dont micromanage me yk and then they were pretty nice but then partway through the shoot after we'd moved locations and i was getting nothing from the director/we were at a standstill i asked if she wanted me to go stand with our equipment till someone got back and she said yes so i did and was on my phone yes and steve came up to me like so i'd love it if you could stay with [director] more bc she's struggling with staying on time and i just think having someone to help her with that would be good and well. that's your job. basically. ohhhhh bitch i almost got mean... i responded with like yeah well this is what i was asked to do rn and im checking in with her but will for sure do that more. absolutely not getting any kind of vibe from anyone on this set though so. like dont sit here and tell me im not doing enough of my job... anyway i feel like no one knew what to do with me and i tried to be friendlyish and helpful etc and ik it was not my best day but jfc
#whatever. im good at what i do im good at what i do#it's like....#disheartening almost. idk. bc no matter how much i love this and really want to be in this#god some people just really have it better#even just in the years ive been here the film program has been building and slowly getting more equipment and now those clubs#are getting on it and it's like bitch i started on zoom...#i didnt just Have film production classes in my high school i wasnt able to go out and buy a black magic camera just cause i wanted to#and then tell me why a few of them are going This is so gay... bc well her story is. old friends? be serious#but like yes im sure you people know gay people but why are you saying that... i didnt like it#i joined in on the joke cause well i felt my voice was most important there. given the lesbianism.#but god i cant stand how film guys will just treat u like shit um constantly and even if you politely peer to peer ask them smth#which honestly id rather kms than do but im an adult so if i dont know something i like to ask they just asked like such assholes#abby talks
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wow popular post about how when you get no reception it kinda kills your motivation but its not visual artists so its not being shat all over. WHATEVER
#simons spouting#ugh idk. comment on my work too but i look like a whiney bitch for that for some reason?#sorry i dont. even 100% agree with the post a fanfic book club is fine not every opinion is something you want to share with the author#even if its a good one. idk i agree that commenting is nice#and you. should do that but ugh. ‘im not joining a server to see someones opinions’ they probably arent for you……..#if you dont want to share someones work thats good and nobel if theyre a visual artist but if you do want to and just are a bit too shy to#comment youre evil and not supporting the work. likes arent fine here. fuck you#whatever wjayever im probably being a bitch
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just friends | lando norris
face claim: none ♡
request: here !
part 2 !
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
📍 sass cafe, monaco
👤 bffstagram, landonorris liked by bffstagram, landonorris and 59,203 others
y/nstagram dj lando came out of retirement for the night🤠
landonorris 😎 only for you xx ↳ y/nstagram i'm honoured mr norris 🫡 ↳ fan i love my besties who don't know they're my besties
bffstagram bro my tummy hurts ↳ y/nstagram i'm coming round with coffee and croissants you big baby ↳ bffstagram i love my gf ♥️ y/nstagram
fan i wanna party with y/nlando so BAD dude ↳ y/nstagram if you ever find yourself in monaco hmu xx
user ew flipping off the camera so ladylike ↳ y/nstagram idk your mum quite likes my fingers 🫶 ↳ fan ☠️☠️☠️ i love her
fan bffstagram is so hot, i need her ↳ bffstagram thank u babycakes 💗
liked by bffstagram, lilymhe and 69,928 others
y/nstagram rainy days in monaco 🌧️
lilymhe i deserve financial compensation for the emotional turmoil tfios sent me through ↳ y/nstagram don't,,, sat and sobbed my eyes out at the last 100 pages
fan how to lose a guy in 10 days... tfios... who hurt you y/n? ↳ y/nstagram hahahah nothing like that! i promise i'm all good!
bffstagram i still have a headache from crying at that book, next time i choose what we're reading for book club ↳ y/nstagram BORINGGGGG who doesn't love doomed romance? ↳ fan you guys have a book club? thats so cute 😭 ↳ y/nstagram yep! it's me, bff, kika, lily and flavy!! ↳ alexandrasaintmleux and no one thought to invite me?? ↳ y/nstagram come join us babe!! ❤️
landonorris wow, didn't take you for a sappy romance reader ↳ y/nstagram there's a lot you don't know about me comment deleted ↳ y/nstagram tfios can make even the iciest bitch cry (it's me, i'm the icy bitch)
landonorris also answer ur damn texts ↳ y/nstagram sorry idk how to read suddenly ↳ fan The Lando Norris gets aired, there's hope for the rest of the bitchless community ↳ landonorris dude...
liked by fan, fan and 103,028 others
f1gossip Eagle eyed Sass Cafe goers managed to capture Lando Norris getting cosy with an unknown blonde girl. Rumoured girlfriend Y/N L/N was nowhere to be seen. Trouble in paradise for the young duo?
fan delete this rn y'all are fucking up my y/nlando chances
fan rumoured girlfriend?? i thought they were just friends ↳ fan that's what they both say, but they're always very close whenever they've been seen out together ↳ fan i'm pretty sure there was like a super grainy photo of them kissing but you can't really tell if it's either of them ↳ fan hey how about we don't speculate on people's love lives???
fan y/n has been absent from social media for like a month too ... its so over for us y/nlando'ers
fan her instagram is girlstagram! from what i could see before she went private, she posted a selfie of her and lando and they looked very close ↳ fan damn the fbi needs to hire you or smth
liked by bffstagram, estebanocon and 65,928 others
y/nstagram thuggin it out (i've listened to your best american girl 34 times today i think bffstagram is about to smother me with a pillow)
fan um who hurt my bestie ???
fan whoever hurt y/n must die at the hand of my sword
fan lando norris i am in your walls FIX THIS
bffstagram i would never smother you xx also come out of ur room it is boring as FUCK out here ↳ y/nstagram damn cant a girl go through it in peace? ↳ bffstagram absolutely not, i have wine and nibbles get out here NEOOWWW or i'm breaking into ur room ↳ y/nstagram the door is open babygirl
fan ik this is a parasocial friendship but are you ok y/n? ☹️ we love you ↳ y/nstagram oh sweetie ❤️ i'll be fine, sometimes you just gotta be a lil sad y'know? thank you for asking, ily ❤️ ↳ fan ily, take care of yourself 🥺 ♥️ y/nstagram
estebanocon chérie, i don't know what's wrong but i hope you're ok! lets grab coffee soon, flavy misses you! ☺️ ↳ y/nstagram thank u este 🫶🥺 text me when you're free! tell flavy i love her 💗 ↳ flavy.barla i love you too 💕 ♥️ y/nstagram
fan no lando like, i have one (1) fear ↳ fan do not even speak that into the universe
fan after f1gossips post, i have my speculations ↳ fan dude, if he fumbled y/n he really will be lando nowins
liked by flavy.barla, francisca.c.gomes and 10 others
y/npriv absolutely not thuggin it out lads
flavy.barla chouchou (sweetheart) 💔 that's it, me and este are taking you out for lunch tomorrow ↳ y/nstagram nooo don't let me ruin your date time!! ↳ flavy.barla nope it's already done! este's booked that little restaurant you like on pl. du casino ↳ y/nstagram le salon rose?? oh i could do a little weep, i love you guys 😭 ↳ flavy.barla we love you so so much y/n 💕
lilymhe i will hit him with my golf clubs ↳ y/nstagram i haven't even mentioned anyone? ↳ lilymhe we all know their name rhymes with bando borris ↳ y/nstagram wdym we all know? who else knows? ↳ flavy.barla ... me ↳ alexandrasaintmleux ^ ↳ francisca.c.gomes ^ ↳ lilynzeimer ^ ↳ heidiberger_ ^ ↳ carmenmmundt ^ ↳ kellypiquet ^ ↳ iamrebeccad ^ ↳ y/nstagram ok ok i get it damn
kellypiquet want me to ask max to rear end him with his race car? ↳ y/nstagram as if max would ever be behind lando ↳ kellypiquet 😳😳😳 ↳ y/nstagram i may l*ve him but i am also a realist ↳ y/nstagram ok no i do feel bad
y/nstagram uploaded to their story
[caption 1: love of my life, apple of my eye, the thelma to my louise 💖 @/flavy.barla] [caption 2: damn stole my girl from right in front of me 😔 @/estebanocon @/flavy.barla]
seen by landonorris, flavy.barla and 67,394 others
flavy.barla mon ange (my angel), you know you're the only one for me 💕 ↳ y/nstagram tell that to your giant of a boyfriend :(
estebanocon i'm not a giant 😠 ↳ y/nstagram stop reading flavy's messages weirdo ↳ y/nstagram but on a real note, thank you for dinner, i really needed it ↳ estebanocon of course, i'm not sure what lando's done but we hate seeing you so sad ↳ y/nstagram who said it had anything to do with lando? ↳ estebanocon whenever me and flavy have an argument she pulls out the mitski lyrics, i know the signs ↳ y/nstagram that's different, you and flavy are dating ↳ estebanocon and you and lando aren't???? ↳ y/nstagram what? no? we're just friends ↳ estebanocon oh mon amie naïve (my naive friend) friends don't look at each other the way the two of you do
landonorris can we talk? seen
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
anyone interested in a part 2?
#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#lando norris social media au#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 social media au
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a little party never killed nobody - lando norris
best friend(?) party girl reader x lando norris social media au
a/n: idk this is a brain dump of the feminine urge to party with lando in atrocious ways! this will include obscene amounts implied and photographed alcohol consumption so if ur uncomfy with that, i’d skip this one! fc is alix earle!
--------------------------------- Australia
landonorris
landonorris: straya points and the official inaugural party host, y/nusername
y/nusername
y/nusername: gday mate 🇦🇺🦘
danielricciardo: Never underestimating you again, the hangover on that plane was miserable
georgerussell63: I told you she’s a bloody party animal
y/nusername: that was pretty tame ngl
oscarpiastri: I was right, not joining was a better idea
y/nusername: u just hate fun
landonorris: feels like the season finally started
y/nusername: bring it on
daniel3.jpg
daniel3.jpg: Melbourne introduced me to the Y/N and Lando party world
--------------------------------- Japan
landonorris
landonorris: podiums make me so happy i start singing
y/nusername: i feel like you’re better at karaoke than at racing
landonorris: changing careers fr
yukitsunoda0511: Please don’t
y/nusername
y/nusername: jpop is awesome 🇯🇵
yukitsunoda0511: you're welcome
y/nusername: yuki san you are my idol
--------------------------------- Miami
y/nusername
y/nusername: in miami, bitch 🇺🇸
landonorris: not like my podium mattered or anything
y/nusername: baby girl i bought you your champagne bottles at the club as a congratulatory gift
maxfewtrell: She's right baby girl
landonorris
landonorris: good timessss lfg miami
oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri: Miami was extremely good to us!
y/nusername: when will u let me throw u a party pookie
oscarpiastri: I think the wise answer is never
y/nusername: but it’s FUN and you should celebrate your podiums!
georgerussell63: Do not trust her, you will have a week long hangover
y/nusername: it’s been a YEAR let it go 😭
--------------------------------- Monaco
y/nusername
y/nusername: my best friend is a formula 1 grand prix winner and i’ve never been drunker (or happier). i fucking love monaco 🇲🇨
landonorris: 🧡
carlossainz55: I think I’m still drunk 🥶
maxverstappen1: same
oscarpiastri: same
landonorris
landonorris: last weekend dump. it was a dream come true (and i’m still drunk too)
y/nusername: now that we got your win out of the way, charles_leclerc monaco win when
charles_leclerc: I'm trying
y/nusername has posted her stories
--------------------------------- Spain
lando.jpg
lando.jpg: great weekend, could get used to winning and partying with them
y/nusername: vamos!
carlossainz55: 😛
y/nusername
y/nusername: bailando (bye-lando?)💃🏽 🇪🇸
landonorris: u couldn't have picked a better photo
y/nusername: i was barely able to walk, no
carlossainz55: Looking good!
y/nusername: i'm inclined to believe you're saying you look good, to which i would agree
landonorris: what
y/nusername has added to her stories
--------------------------------- UK
landonorris
landonorris: home gp win. it doesn’t get better than this.
y/nusername: i love you so much winner!!!!!! (fuck u for that photo!!!!!)
lewishamilton: Huge congratuations!
y/nusername: good times innit 🇬🇧
georgerussell63: I will never, ever be bullied into going out with you ever again
y/nusername: ...as i said, good times innit
landonorris: how come george and fernando get that picture and i look like a kpop idol
y/nusername: cause ur my baby girl fr
landonorris: what
fernandoalonso: Too old for this craziness, but thanks again!
y/nusername: what do you mean you were the life of the party!!!
y/nusername has added to her stories
--------------------------------- Netherlands
y/nusername
y/nusername: you think i’m crazy? you should meet maxverstappen1 three jägerbombs in. 🇳🇱
maxverstappen1: Let me tell you that you on five jägerbombs was worse, but you wouldn't remember.
landonorris: she’s like that without the alcohol too
y/nusername: wow okay drag me!
y/nusername has added to her stories
--------------------------------- Mexico
y/nusername: viva el tequila y viva méxico 🇲🇽
sergioperez: Respect!
y/nusername: i promise i don't down tequila like water all the time, i can also appreciate the flavor!
landonorris: she's lying
patriciooward: Can I join you next time?
y/nusername: you can join me any time!
patriciooward: Tonight any good?
landonorris: once again what
patriciooward has added to his stories
--------------------------------- Brazil
y/nusername: eu te amo 🇧🇷
carlossainz55: 😍
patriciooward: 🔥
landonorris: i am once again asking... what?
--------------------------------- Las Vegas
y/nusername: i girlbossed too close to the sun this time but a drunk fake wedding doesn't represent us as people 🇺🇸
user65: you are absolutely kidding THEY DID NOT GET MARRIED
oscarpiastri: Oh Jesus Christ pick up the phone
carlossainz55: Thanks for the invite!
maxverstappen1: That's a way to make controversy
user24: fuck a las vegas win, lando finally bagged the girl
user43: lando to carlos and pato: fuck around and find out
landonorris has added to his stories
--------------------------------- Abu Dhabi
y/nusername: season is over but we’ll be back (no accidental weddings this time) 🇦🇪
landonorris: could you stop posting on ig and come say what you want to eat
user52: cant you see the man loves you why did you unmarry him and say you're not marrying him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oscarpiastri: Don't make promises you cant keep
user 75: HELLO?
user 19: OSCAR?
#f1#f1 au#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#formula 1#lando norris#lando norris au#lando norris smau#lando norris fic#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fanfic
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all american bitch -- ls2
After a successful concert in Miami, your twin sister is caught having a little moment with her boyfriend outside a club. Most people jump to conclusions, but you have a way to shut everyone up (and give half of the F1 community a heart attack in the process)
logan sargeant x singer!reader
warnings/notes: cheating allegations, cursing, so many sexual innuendos, sexual lyrics, terribly written lyrics should count as a warning... also I wrote this to celebrate logan 2024 <3
fc: gracie abrams
-
04 MAY, INSTAGRAM
urusername made a new post!
liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, sistersacc, and 450k others
urusername: miami!! u were ELECTRIC!! a great finish to the first leg of the tour. oh and thank u to both @ logansargeant and @ sistersacc for joining me in miami tn ahead of the gp <3
tagged: sistersacc, logansargeant, williamsracing
lilymhe: LAST PIC??
urusername: people keep sending logan text posts to me and its amazing
user1: girl explain what u were doing last night
user2: patiently waiting on her downfall fr
user3: MOTHER IS MOTHERING!!!
logansargeant: I LOVE YOU BITCH ASS
urusername: I LOVE YOU TOO FUCK HEAD !!! 💙💙
williamsracing: y/n. ur electric.
urusername: im leaving logan for u williams admin
logansargeant: dude what the fuck :(
user4: so we're gonna act like no one saw her cheating?
sistersacc: AAAA SO MUCH FUN THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE U MAD <333
alexalbon: thank u again for inviting me and lily i cannot express the joy of finally meeting the woman logan never shuts up about
user7: not everyone jumping to conclusions jfc
logansargeant made a new post
logansargeant: thank u williams for the incredible season and for trusting this american guy and taking a chance on me. thank u @ urusername for being my rock. see u all next yr 💙
USER HAS LIMITED COMMENTS ON THIS POST.
urusername: so so so proud of u baby <3 u did incredible
logansargeant: thank u <3
alexalbon: see u in a few weeks
oscarpiastri: great job man u did amazing
--
EXTRATV made a new post!
liked by 456k others...
extratv: While rumors are spiraling of potential cheating allegations against Y/n L/n, she was spotted with Taylor Swift at a local park in Miami after day two of her residency in the Kaseya Center. Has the checkered flag waved for the American 'It Couple' of F1?
user1: bro its so over for us.
user2: NOOO Y/N SARGEANT PLS </3
user3: people see taylor and think its an immediate break up. taylor literally helped y/n start music bc their moms are besties idk what y'all are on.
user4: reputation era real
--
"Do you see this shit?" You turn to look at Logan behind you, who currently has his face smushed into what was previously your pillow as he attempts to recover sleep from his season of traveling just about everywhere. You would be in the same boat as him if you weren't being hounded over doing your skincare and such everyday for tour. Because of that hounding, you had to take off all the makeup you had put on for dinner as soon as you got home. The dinner was with all your family and friends to celebrate the end of a season and the end of the first leg of your tour.
"No?" Logan blinks open his eyes and you cross the room from your shared bathroom, he lifts the blanket so you can slide in next to him in the bed as the fleeting Florida sun nips warmth into your skin before his warmth envelops you in the comfortable blankets you have across the bed as the fan above rotates on high.
You flip your phone, showing him the pictures of your sister people were using to say you cheated on Logan.
"Oh be so serious." He groans into your side as he looks at the photos, arm draped lazily over you before he plucks the device out of your hands and drags you fully under the blankets with them.
"Don't worry," He murmurs, sleep in his voice, "It'll blow over if we just ignore it."
"Logan they're trying to cancel me on Twitter." You deadpan, rolling into his embrace and snuggling against him.
"Write a song about it like everyone thinks you're doing with Taylor, play it on tour or something.'' He mumbles into the skin of your neck before giving you a soft kiss.
You hate how enticing the idea is.
"You're gonna have to review the lyrics before I post it, because I might make it absolutely filthy." You warn and Logan's eyes widen as he perks up from where he's cuddled into your side.
"Oh please, please, do." His little shit eating grin makes you burst into laughter as you nod, pulling out your notebook from your bedside table and a pen as Logan adjusts so he can watch you scribble down ideas.
-
urusername made a new post!
liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, lilymhe, and 215k others...
urusername: im so sorry to @ williamsracing in advance. my new single miami burn comes out tmrw 💙
lilymhe: get em girl.
logansargeant: i apologize in advance to my pr team
williamsracing: logan please.
oscarpiastri: some times i wonder about u two. and then i hear about you and it makes me wish i never asked.
logansargeant: wow love u too man
landonorris: no i heard the demo im with oscar on this
arthurleclerc: prayers to ur pr team !
williamsracing: well now im scared.
#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#logan sargeant x y/n#logan sargeant x you#logan sargeant imagine#logan sargeant x reader#logan sargeant smau#nicole wrote this
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Wassup my little scrunkly poo's 😘😘😋
I think I missed someone but idk if I did please tell me but this is the mc addressing the NRC students by familial terms!
Let's go bitch 😤
Father figure students first😋
Middle schooler!Mc: Hey papa-
Riddle (hear me out-): he's so gentle with you and all the heartslaybul residents were kind of expecting it at some point and Riddle just short circuited while he's blushing and he's about to cry. He will come check up on you at least two times a week and will offer you to live in heartslaybul with him so you can always have help wether it be with homework or with studying, he will be there for you to help you through anything.
Trey: he seemed so nonchalant about it and even responded with "what's up?" But when your not around he's chuckling and shit and you've got a happy baker always giving you treats when he can and won't give you your treats until he knows you brushed your teeth that morning. Will let you have sleepovers in his room and will always cover for you if you happened to skip class or something and if you help him with baking he'll let you take some home with you for you to share with Grim.
Leona: this bitch didn't even notice you called him papa until like ten minutes later and he won't address you about it but don't be surprised when you get an offer from him to live at Savannaclaw and if you don't agree to live there he WILL bribe you until you move in. When you move in Leona will be able to watch over you easier and you won't have to complain to him about food and living expenses (EVEN THOUGH YOUR A FUCKING MIDDLE SCHOOL KID) and you get to sleep in his bed without him pushing you off.
Jack: his tail is wagging more than before and he's trying to stop it the best he can. You've got scary wolf privileges now, use it. He's now coming to spend more and more time around Ramshackle to make sure you're okay and well. He is also bringing you more snacks and water during different periods of the day so you stay energized. Will take you on his morning runs and won't mind you sleeping on his back while he runs and will be ecstatic if you join him.
Jade: he is smiling even more and he just chuckles it off. You now have a scary eel following you around everywhere and if you happen to have an interest in fungi he will be over the moon and will help you grow your own. You will join the mountain lover club. You two will go on hikes everywhere and will taste test random mushrooms because you two felt silly and wanted to see if it was poisonous. The school is afraid of the two of you and your will to eat anything. He and you have contests of who can identify the most mushrooms and he always wins. He'll let you have sleepovers in his room with him and Floyd but for the most part recommends you to sleep in their extra room and will let you leave your stuff in there over time and next thing you'll know the room is yours. (It's strange how it's right next to their room and you three have a door that can connect the two rooms so you can just hop in when you'd like-)
Jamil: he fucking sighs. You're basically another Kalim and he can hardly deal with Kalim himself. Still though he'll offer for you to move into his dorm because 'you get to spend more time with Kalim and wont have to worry about living expenses' he is right about the living part but he just wants to keep an eye on you and make sure you eat enough food and get enough sleep. If you look even the slightest bit hungry he is stopping what you're doing and will make you something to eat and you have to eat at least three bites before you go back to what you're doing.
Vil: he pauses what he's doing and will turn around slowly. He immediately stops you from apologizing. Next thing you know you have makeup on and new uniform with the Pomefiore vest and following Vil around like Rook and Epel. When you come back from school Vil already has a room set up with your things and some gifts and essentials that take up more then five boxes. You have a whole new wardrobe with SILK and a nice comfy bed and bathroom. Epel is praying for you because Vil will be on your ass about taking care of yourself and will make you sit down and put on your routinely make up of you forgot or messed up a part. You're not a little sweet potato now. You're the prettiest child in all the land >:D (he calls middle schooler!mc sweet potato, not potato)
Rook: he is laughing and giggling and hugging you. You now have a bodyguard that will spoil you to endless amounts you have to beg him to stop buying you things. He insists that you move into Pomefiore so you two can spend more time together and will say that we won't stop spending on you until you move in. He will stalk you more and more to watch your health and make sure you eat enough. If he sees that you are the slightest sad he will drown you in complements and praise while pampering you.
Lilia: he stops making his ravioli and turns around slowly. Wide eyed. He will slowly float towards you as you apologize. He will hug you gently at first then he will crush you as he is spinning in the air with you and squealing. He must tell the other three, he can't hold the news in. Go and put on your uniform. It's already in your room with all your other things next to his room and make sure to put on the makeup he gifted you. Get ready for dinner he is making his ravioli and cake as a celebration of you joining the family! He already has the adoption papers signed and is ready to change your last name to Vanrouge. You have a bat dad that is willing to stay up with you at three AM watching paranormal activity videos and playing horror games while you two chug energy drinks. He already moved your stuff into Diasomnia when you were sleeping with the help of Malleus who is buzzing in happiness. If Lilia sees that you feel down that day he is stopping everything he's doing and will pamper you while you just soak it in like a sponge. He is willing to do the weirdest shit with you because when he caught you trying to quietly make a battery acid drink he just gave you a shitload of sour stuff that he has stashed and made one of his own too.
Mc: yeah this is my brother-
Ace: he just smirks and ruffles your hair while agreeing. He will tease you so much but being serious his eyes might get a little watery. You MIGHT get some of his allowance. Maybe. But like y'all two are having so many sleepovers at Ramshackle and eating so much food at the ass crack of dawn
Deuce: he will give a very small smile and nod along but you will notice a change when he volunteers to get things for you and he will come to Ramshackle more and will drag Ace with him because two big brothers is better than one. If you need someone to jump someone else he is your guy because he will go ham if someone says the wrong thing to you.
Cater: You're fucking done. He's already got a room where you can sleep and is so taking pictures of and with you every where. He is willing to just laze around or go partying with you because he's fun like that and will def make an account with just you and will make sure that you'll eat your fair share of vitamin gummies for kids that he has (I hc he has vitamin gummies for middle schooler!mc and he will have EVERYTHING)
Ruggie: his tail is wagging like crazy and he will definitely include you in his to do list as he will buy whatever you want because he's got a shitload of money from Leona and if you buy him donuts he WILL wrestle you to the ground and will ask for anything you need help with cause man's desperate to pay you back and seem like a good brother to you. He will ask for you to move into Savannaclaw as Leona already agreed because Ruggie wouldn't stop bothering him about it. So now you've got a brother who will come and do anything for you as long as you keep on referring to him as your big brother.
Azul: his face turns blue (octopi have blue blood right?) as he looks at you like you committed mass murder. His eyes will then get watery as he is just silent. When you apologize a tentacle will pull you to him out of nowhere as he just coddles you. He will ask for you to work at Mostro Lounge but guess what? Your pay is higher but don't SNITCH to anyone or he's gonna be the scariest mf you've ever seen. He's got a room all for you and you get a goddamn water bed like what - and you can get free meals from there if you're grades are good.
Floyd: BIGGEST HUG HES EVERE GIVEN THAT IS NOT INTENDED TO MURDER SOMEONE. He's doing his little laugh and he's just jollying around like a happy camper. He's already got Jade that views you the same way. He's already got a room set up for you after he threatened some people and if you don't wanna sleep in it then you can sleep in his and jades! He's willing to let you sleep on his bed while he sleeps on the floor or you two can do like some weird ass ninja poses that feel oddly comfortable while sleeping. But he will do anything you want. You wanna go set a car on fire because you were hungry? He's already dragging you there and it seems to everyone that you two have the same thought process and which you two do but is the tiniest bit different
Kalim: he's squeezing you and jumping up and down and omfg- you have a whole ROOM AS BIG AS A HOUSE all for you. He wont hesitate to throw a party just for you. You got a passing grade in a test? Hooray the party is on Friday! 😘 But tbh you could just fucking smile and hes all over you gifting you shit and he prolly will take you to see his family because you will fit right in and if you happen to enjoy HIM pampering you then you will surely enjoy the way his family pampers you and they will see you as another child of the al asim family that deserves the extra bit of love.
Epel: shit, how tf is he gon' tell his momma this? But being honest he is letting his country accent go HAM while he's with you because he knows you won't snitch 😊 . He has a big ass bed he is willing to share it with you. Y'all do all kinds of shit like watching those weird ass documentaries or listening to the songs about tractors that he likes so much. If you happen to be sneaky he will def have you sneak into Pomefiore because Vil actually likes you and will not mind that much. But if epel has to suffer, you have to suffer if epel has to cake on his skin care stuff he's doing the same to you. He will cheer you on if you happen to get into a fight the minute he hears about it he is fucking sprinting across the school to either cheer you on or join you.
Idia: He is frozen. Shooketh. Flabbergasted. You? The talk of the school, view HIM as your big brother? Now it feels like those animes where the younger sibling is so much more popular than the older and the older is said to be an outcast and lonely and- he is short circuiting but he won't treat you differently than he does Ortho. Considering that you have a mind that can be put in the nearest mental hospital he will just vibe with you until you go drag him out and force him to grab a cluster of daddy long legs. He has a room made personally for you. Yeah. It even has all the cool computer stuff so you can feel smart whole thing and looking on different screens 😈🥸. He has it in your favorite color and has all your favorite things inside. He will send Ortho to go fetch you when he has something cool to show you and you and Ortho are attached at the hip 😎.
Ortho: bro makes sounds like mobby form imagine learning and he is lifting you in the air and you can feel the gears in his body shifting because of his excitement. He is already having a room ready for you with the help of his brother and is your personal emotional support buddy and best friend. He will literally find papers for you to sign to be his younger sibling. Don't ask how or why just sign. He's already got a room ready for you. He also has his own pod in there where he sleeps so if you're ever scared or lonely he can sleep in his pod in your room or he can just warm himself up and hug you while you fall asleep. You're cold? Dw big brothers got you he's already heating his body up and when he hugs you he feels so warm. You need a energy drink? He already has one stored. with his scientific fact robot brain he can and will back you up when someone tries messing with you because Ortho don't deal with someone disrespecting his younger sibling 🚨 and will become sassy. You two are never seen without each other and if you are, fucking run because you will literally go crazy if you can't find Ortho and he will do the same if he can't find you.
Malleus: He is a warm and happy dragon. He is just buzzing with happiness now. Either he is following you around or you are following him around. But either way if you guys are not seen without one another y'all are gonna be in the bitchiest mood ever. He will make it his personal duty to make sure that your pampered and treated like the royalty you are because he already has the papers for you to sign for you to be his sibling. If there are no rooms available for you in his dorm he will share his room with you and honestly he doesn't care what you say he already has your stuff packed and a bed is already ready for you to sleep on. Your cold? Dw he will use his magic to warm ya up. Someone bad mouthed you? The student is already begging on his knees for forgiveness the next day. You dont understand history class? He can help you because he was there during that time 🥸. It's kinda funny because you have a tall ass dragon prince brother that seems so calm and then the brother has a smaller younger sibling that goes batshit crazy over anything and y'all two even each other out definitely.
Silver: he won't register it prolly because he was dozing off but in his dream some how some way the memory will come back to him. He will be staring at you more gently than how he did before and he will convince his father to adopt you. He will share his room with you and is alright with it. Like I bet he prolly has a closet full of plushies that he or you could sleep in when it gets cold and the other one is hogging the bed. He will teach you how to use the sword and some special tricks he uses 😈. But I hc that middle schooler mc and Silver will be so alike. Like mc is sleeping through all the alarms just like silver and someone has to wake them up by hitting them with a pillow HARD. And still even after that they both will be so sleepy. And both of y'all would looove after school naps because waking up with a mouth dryer than the sunset savannah, sweating at your back, one sock missing and the other one halfway off your foot, and not knowing the time is how you two wake up from naps after school and maybe even in the morning when y'all forget to wake up :>.
Sebek: he is yelling about how inappropriate it is to address him like that but internally he is screeching and crying. He will lower his voice when he is around you and is more gentle when he is scolding you. He WILL teach you how to wield a sword and will spar with you every night to see how well you've improved. He will share his room with you if you want to move in with him and he will suggest it to help you with sword training, def not because he's worried about your living conditions 💀. He will brag about you and how your so smart and he won't brag about you as much as he does Malleus but he will brag about you because he's proud of you and your achievements must be acknowledged!
#twisted wonderland x reader#thedivineflowers#middle school mc#twst x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#trey clover x reader#cater diamond x reader#deuce spade x reader#ace trapolla x reader#leona kingsholar x reader#ruggie bucchi x reader#jack howl x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader#kalim al asim x reader#jamil viper x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#rook hunt x reader#epel felmier x reader#idia shroud x reader
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LOVE ON EACHOTHER! / HAZEL CALLAHAN
♪ AWKWARD, SZA / BOTTOMS MASTERLIST / MASTERLIST
pairings. hazel callahan x fem reader
warnings. mentions of fighting, blood, tension?????? idk.
summary. joining a fight club wasn’t so easy as it seemed.
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You should’ve seen this coming when you decided to join a fight club. You had went against Hazel, and to say she was really good at throwing a punch was not an exaggeration. You didn’t even want to fight her, you didn’t want to mess up her beautiful face.
You had to go home without getting checked up by the school nurse because the bitch wasn’t even in.
You managed to clean up the blood but it was still in agony.
Maybe Hazel knew how to make a possibly broken nose feel better? Who knew. If you were being honest you just wanted to see her. You weren’t even mad, after all the whole point of the fight club was to beat eachother up.
You were definitely in love, just to scared to admit. Before you knew it your doorbell was ringing and you opened it to see a panicked Hazel. God, you could get lost in her eyes.
“Hey,” She says out of breath. Did she run a marathon to get here?
“Hi.” You let her in your house, Hazel following you to the Kitchen.
“Hows the nose?” Asks Hazel. She felt horrible for what she did.
“Sore.” You shrugged like it was nothing, you noticed her guilty expression and realised you said something wrong, “I’m not mad, Haze. It’s the whole point in the club. Don’t feel bad.”
She nodded, she believed you, but she still felt guilty. “Let me look at it?” She didn’t mean for it to come out like a question, she was just nervous.
You nod, sitting on the counter so it was easier for her to look at your nose. She stood almost in between your legs, one hand on the side of your head and the other on the counter next to you. The heat sprawled onto your cheeks, making you flush red. You were too busy looking down to the floor to realise how nervous Hazel was too.
A few moments later, Hazel breaks the silence, “I fucked you up bad, huh?” She said awkwardly, getting a chuckle out of you. You finally look up, taking notice of the position you were in, she was completely stood in between your legs now, you were basically breathing down her neck. She was all flushed red from your shallow breathing, she held the eye contact with you.
A few strands of her hair had fell, covering her eyes, making the eye contact break. You couldn’t help but tuck them behind her ear again, missing the intense hold you were sharing.
Without a thought you closed the gap, Hazel got closer as she held the kiss, her hands going to your waist.
The kiss was started to get more sloppy and heated, you both felt yourself getting breathless, but you really didn’t have a care.
#bottoms movie#bottoms movie x reader#bottoms movie fanfic#bottoms 2023#ruby cruz#hazel callahan#hazel bottoms#hazel callahan x reader#hazel callahan x you#hazel callahan fanfic
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High by the Beach Pt. 2
This one shot takes place in s1e8🤭
Tags: contains smut, threesome f/m/m
Uhh.. idk enjoy? Lol.
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“Fuck, Ketamine? Coke? Just get me something man alright?” Kendall says to Greg as they walk down the hallway of the underground club.
You are hooking arms with Kendall as the two of you continue to follow Greg down the hall.
“Alright, just- where.. where can I get that exactly?”
Kendall stops and looks up at Greg, “Figure it out bro, I need some. Get back to me in five yeah?” He replies. Before Greg can say anything else, Kendall pats him on the arm then continues to walk down the hall with you.
The two of you planned on either getting super drunk or getting high. You both had the night off work, it was your break. You’ve both had a stressful two weeks and needed to feel “alive” again. Even though it meant that the next day the two of you would be laying in bed feeling like shit, it needed to be done. The both of you were losing your sense of thought tonight.
He kisses the side of your head and soon, the two of you are in this small little closed off dark purple lit room. There’s a couple of other people in the room as well, but he takes your hand and pulls you towards a couch that sat in the corner of the room.
“How are you feeling so far?” He asks you with a grin. You hadn’t taken any kind of drug yet but this was the last time he’d probably be able to ask you before the two of you were high out of your minds.
“Good.” You smile, “I feel good.”
He hums in satisfaction then brings his lips closer to yours, “That’s good.” He kisses your lips, “Can I just say this?”
You chuckle then kiss him again, not caring if anyone could see the two of you. “You can say anything you want Kendall.”
“I can’t wait to get high with you. Fucking you while I’m high is like- it’s fuckin’ unreal.”
You chuckle at his stupid little reply. “It’s unreal is it?” You tease.
“I just can’t find the words for it.” He laughs, “I can’t focus when you look this fucking good.”
You smile then lick his top lip. Before you can lick it again to tease him, his lips are on you. The kiss is sloppy and filled with need.
As you continue to kiss him, Stewy’s voice makes you pull away,
“Well, this isn’t something I see often.” He jokes “Kidding, I see it all the time. Exactly how high are the two of you right now?”
Kendall laughs, “We’re not high at all yet actually. Greg is supposed to come and give us something,”
“Greg? Oh I’m sorry, you hired Greg to get you something?” Stewy can’t help but laugh. “Is that supposed to be a joke?”
You decide to join in on the conversation, “Well, unless you’re going to get us something, Greg is our choice. Who knows, maybe he’ll bring us back the sickest coke ever.”
Kendall chuckles and kisses the side of your head, “She’s right man. Unless you have,”
Kendall doesn’t finish his sentence as Stewy throws a small bag of white powder on the table in front of the two of you.
You both look down at it and you huff out an excited chuckle.
“Look at that, Stewy saves the day.” You say.
He smiles then comes to sit next to Kendall.
“You can have it, it’s my treat.” Stewy replies.
“You don’t want any of this?” Kendall asks as he begins to open the bag and pours it on the table.
“No, I’m good man. Just share some with your girlfriend, yeah?”
Kendall uses his credit card to create small lines on the table. Soon, you and Kendall are inhaling coke together, finally getting what you both needed tonight.
When you both finish inhaling, you both laugh together.
“Fuck I needed this.” Kendall says and kisses your lips, slipping his tongue in your mouth.
“Hey come on now, let me join in on the fun yeah?” Stewy jokes.
Kendall pulls away from you to speak, “You’re gonna have to find another hot bitch cause this one’s already taken.” He laughs.
“I mean, it’ll be hard to top that. You’re expecting to have her to yourself when she’s wearing that? You expected no other man in this club to have his eyes on her?”
“Sure, they can look at her. You can look at her too I don’t give a fuck. But uh, they can’t have her.” He replies then looks at you, “Hey, we should put one of those fucking signs on you from those art galleries saying ‘please don’t touch the art work.’ That’s a damn good idea no?” He laughs.
You can’t help but laugh back, “You’re such an idiot.” You tease.
Before you can say anything else, Greg approaches the three of you and stops to stand in front of the table.
“Greg my man, you’re back!” Kendall says, “And? What do you have for me?”
Greg fidgets with his fingers then puts his hand through his hair, “Well um, I met this super cool guy and… here, just take it.”
In Greg’s hand, he holds out this little thing of Saran Wrap pulled together and sealed with a hair elastic. It was a small DIY-looking bag of coke.
You stare at the “bag” for a while, confused on what you are seeing before letting out a loud laugh. Stewy and Ken laugh along.
“W-what? It’s what you wanted, no?”
Kendall continues to laugh then speaks, “Greg, what the fuck is that?”
“It’s… it’s coke. You wanted it didn’t you?”
“Uh yeah, I wanted coke, not some hand crafted bullshit.” He chuckles, “I mean, what the hell even is that? Who- who gave you that?”
“He’s really cool, okay?” Greg replies then smiles when he remembers the guy, “He actually had this like Hawaiian shirt on, except instead of all the Hawaiian flowers, they were all pictures of cats!”
You let out another laugh and speak, “Okay so this guy is a psycho? Yeah, I’m not inhaling that. It’ll probably kill me.”
“Yeah man, how about you keep it to yourself. We’re good.” Kendall replies.
“What- hey, I went through a lot to get this okay?”
“Oh, I’m sure you did. But like, fuck off alright? Go dance or… drink, I don’t know, go have fun Greggy. And take your arts and crafts coke with you.”
Greg decides to not say anything else and just turns and walks away, now stuck with suspicious coke in his pocket.
“And that’s the guy you hired to get you drugs?” Stewy jokes before standing, “Hey well, I'm gonna go get a drink. You two are now free to do whatever your heart's desire.” He smiles then turns and walks away.
You turn and look at Kendall before wrapping your arms around his shoulders and resting your one leg on his lap.
“I think, I either want more drugs… or I want you to fuck me.” You admit.
This makes him grin, he brings his hand to touch your leg, rubbing his thumb against your skin.
“Oh I think I like both of those options. Which one do you choose? Which one do you need more huh?”
You lean in to whisper in his ear, “I think… I think I want you to fuck me Kendall. I can’t help it, you just look so hot. I’ve been wanting it ever since we got here.”
“That’s funny, cause so have I.” He replies. “You know, I was hoping to at least be able to last a few more hours before taking you back to the condo and fucking you all night, but if you’re gonna be so impatient about it, I guess I can give it to you now.”
And before you know it, you are following him through the crowd with a grin on your face and you make it to a small little bathroom. It wasn’t anything special. I mean, it was a club washroom. Of course you’d pick his bed over this, but you needed him to fuck you so badly, you didn’t care where you were.
“Fuck me over this counter Kendall.” You whine, “I need you right fucking now.” You pull your panties down so that they are at your ankles and bend over the counter.
He can’t help but let out a laugh, “God, you are so pathetic for me when even on the tiniest bit of coke.”
“Kendall, stop with your teasing and just fuck me.”
And soon, you are taking him in the club's small washroom, not caring how loud you were being since the music was loud enough to cover your pathetic noises. You cried out little praises for him, telling him how good it was and called out his name. It doesn’t take long for the both of you to finish. You just clean yourself up and take his hand and walk back out into the club. The both of you had the biggest grins on your face, satisfied at the outcome.
About 15 minutes pass and you both come across Stewy again. “Hey, I hope you didn’t get up to too much trouble.” He says over the loud music, “Look what I’ve got you two.” He says and hands over another small bag of coke.
“No fucking way!” You say in excitement, but before you can grab it, he pulls his hand away.
“Ah ah, not so fast. I have a deal for you alright?”
“Okay?” You reply curiously as Kendall hugs you from behind, listening to what Stewy has to say.
“I’ll give the two of you this coke, only if you let me join the two of you tonight.”
Kendall just nods his head and chuckles. You knew what Stewy meant but you decide to ask, “Join us?”
“Yeah sweetheart. Don’t tell me you don’t remember that time maybe four months back? When I had you on my couch… Kendall behind and,”
“Yeah, yeah I remember. How could I forget such a thing?” You reply.
“Well, how about we do something like that again? It was fun right?”
You turn your head to look at Kendall, he just shrugs before speaking his opinion, “I mean, if it’s to get more drugs why not?”
You smile, satisfied with his answer. To be honest with yourself, you were hoping that this idea would come up again. You thought about that night where you had the both of them a lot. You’d love to do it again.
You turn back to face Stewy. “Alright, you have a deal.”
Stewy grins and hands you the coke, “I’m glad sweetheart. Who knows, maybe Ken and I can make it better than last time?”
“Oh, I’d love to see what you slutty men can come up with this time.” You tease then open the small bag. You turn around so you are facing Kendall and he still has his arms wrapped around you.
Stewy watches and waits patiently as the two of you take turns rubbing coke on each other's gums.
“I think I’m going to take the two of you back to my place, it’s quieter there.”
Kendall kisses your neck, his light facial hair scratching your skin, as you turn to face Stewy, “Alright, if that’s what you want.”
“Yeah, that’s what I want. So let’s go, I’ve got my ride out waiting for us.”
“Already?” You ask, “You are so desperate for us that you get a driver that fast?”
“Well, I actually texted him about ten minutes ago, I was planning on leaving alone earlier. But I saw you two so I thought to ask if you were both slutty enough to come with me. I guess you are huh?” He teases.
You take Kendall’s hand in yours as you follow Stewy out of the club and towards the car.
When you’re climbing in the car, you are second to go in, meaning you would sit between the two of them the whole way there.
As the car starts moving, Stewy is the first to speak, “We are really doing this again?” He laughs in excitement.
“Yeah, I guess we are.” You reply then look at Kendall, “How are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling as if I can’t believe you’re in this car with us, wanting to get fucked again even after taking me in that little washroom.”
Oh, the poor innocent driver, having to listen to this conversation.
Stewy raises his eyebrows, “You really took her in that tiny washroom?” He laughs, “That’s a little low for someone like the two of you, no? I expected you to only fuck in high rated luxurious places.” He teases, “Can’t be one of your proudest moments can it? Fucking in a club washroom. That’s honestly hilarious, cute but hilarious.”
Kendall chuckles lowly then puts his hand on your thigh. “Well, it isn’t really my style, no. But, I’d do anything for her.”
You just look over at him and smile, and Stewy just chuckles a little and speaks again,
“Awe, how romantic. You’d do anything for your girl even if that means to fuck her in a germ infested club washroom. How adorable.”
“You’d do the same Stewy,” he replies and keeps his hand on your thigh before he leans in to kiss your neck.
When Kendall has his face in the crook of your neck, Stewy brings his hand to sit on your other thigh while his foot wraps around yours to pull your legs further apart.
With the both of their hands on your thighs, with Kendall’s teeth nibbling your neck, you can’t help but let out a quiet moan.
“Look at you, already getting excited,” Stewy says into your ear, “can I kiss your girl on the cheek Kendall?”
“Go ahead, I’m sure she’d love that,” Ken replies, “wouldn’t you?”
“Yes.”
Stewy wastes no time on kissing you cheek. He kisses it a couple of times before also moving down to your neck. You close your eyes and push your lips together, fighting another moan from falling out of your mouth.
Kendall was nibbling your neck and squeezing your thigh in his hand while Stewy just kept his hand still, licking your neck before kissing it softly.
The two of them were doing different things to you, both turning you on in different ways. Kendall turned you on by how needy and rough he was being. Stewy turned you on by being the opposite, being gentle with you.
You’re unsure what to do with your hands, you didn’t know whether to grab their hands or keep them gripping the edge of the car seat. You finally decide to put your hands on their thighs, one on Kendalls and one on Stewys.
You run your hands up and down their clothed thighs, squeezing them gently every so often.
The feeling of your hand groping Kendall’s thigh makes him groan impatiently and he brings his hand higher, close to your cunt. His pinky finger was so close to your clit and it makes you whisper out his name in a warning,
“Kendall,” you breath out but bring your one hand now up to Stewy’s hair so he isn’t missing out. “I- I can’t.”
The driver then turns up the radio a little, which makes you chuckle and feel bad for the poor man. You decide that you take your hands to remove theirs from your thighs, “Let’s behave ourselves yeah?” You say and chuckle.
They both pull their mouths away from your neck now, “Oh I’m sorry, was that too much for you to handle?” Stewy teases.
“Oh no, not at all. Don’t be too over your head, I can handle so much more. I just want to wait till we get to your house is all.”
They both let out a low chuckle.
And soon, the car comes to a stop in front of Stewy’s house. You honestly had no idea what surprises they may pull on you, but you weren’t at all nervous, you were excited out of your mind.
“Are you excited baby?” Kendall asks with a grin.
“Yes.” You reply softly. He lets out a little laugh then picks you up and carries you towards Stewy's front door.
When the three of you are finally inside, you are still in Kendall’s arms and you don’t say anything but smile, waiting to see what happens next.
Stewy is the first to speak when the door closes, “Well, I can think of a few ideas for what happens next. Kendall, will you set her on the couch, I want to share my ideas… but would hate to ruin the surprise.” He says as he looks over at you.
Kendall just grins over at him then carries you over to the couch and sets you down gently. “Behave yourself.” He teasingly whispers before walking over to speak to his best friend.
You can’t help but giggle quietly as the two of them speak quietly together. You just thought it was so silly how you were sitting on the couch, watching your boyfriend and his best friend talk about how they were both going to take you.
When they finish, Stewy looks over at you, “What are you being all giggly about?”
“Nothing.”
“Awe how cute, I think she’s excited for us again Ken, just like last time.”
Kendall chuckles, “Yeah, I think you’re right.”
The two walk over to you and look down at you sitting on the couch.
“Do you want to know the idea I’ve shared with your boyfriend?” You nod your head, waiting for him to continue. “Since Kendall is still not wanting me to fuck you properly because he doesn’t like to share, we each get three minutes to taste you, and whoever makes you finish first… wins.”
You can’t help but laugh “What is this some sort of fucked up challenge for the two of you?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” Stewy replies, “So, unless you have something better in mind, I’d like to get this little game started.”
“Is that something you're up for baby?” Kendall asks you. Before answering you stand up to remove your panties so you are now only left with your top and skirt on.
“Yes.” You reply quietly.
“Want to flip a coin on who gets to go first?” Stewy suggests. Kendall can’t help but laugh a little.
“You want to flip a coin on who gets to eat her out first? This is ridiculous.” He laughs. “But alright sure, why not?”
“Heads or tails pretty boy?”
“Heads.”
Stewy flips the coin up with his thumb before catching it in his one hand and placing it on the back of his other hand. When he reveals it, it’s on tails.
“Damn, tough luck my man. Looks like I get her first.”
You chuckle, “I have to say, this is probably the weirdest and kinkiest thing I have ever done.”
“Yeah? I’m honestly shocked that this is your kinkest.” Stewy teases while looking at the two of you, “But casual sex is boring. We all agree, right?”
“Not all the time it’s not, no.” You reply, “But I can agree that stuff like this is more fun.”
“Good, because what I want now is for you to sit between Kendall’s thighs while I taste you.”
You and Kendall smile at each other before doing what Stewy assigned you to do. You sit in front of Kendall on the couch so your back is against his chest, your legs are spread open for his best friend who’s on his knees in front of you.
The difference between Kendall and Stewy wasn’t a lot. During sex, they both liked to pleasure their woman, but Stewy was more teasing than Kendall was; Stewy was more gentle. Kendall would tease you often, but he wouldn’t be able to tease you for long before he needed you himself. He also always tended to be more rough with you rather than gentle, only on special occasions would he make love to you rather than fuck you and be gentle and slow, needing to take his time with you.
“Start the clock.” Stewy jokes. Well, you thought he was joking, but Kendall and Stewy deadass had one of their phones open on the timer app, setting it at three minutes.
When Kendall starts the timer, his best friend immediately begins to kiss your inner thigh. He didn’t want to just fuck you with his tongue just like that, he needed to warm you up first, needed to get you more turned on.
As he continues to kiss and nibble your thigh, getting closer and closer to your cunt, you lean your head back so it’s on Kendall's shoulder. Kendall takes his hands and lightly plays with your breasts through your shirt.
“You better not cum for him.” He whispers in your ear, “You better be good and not let yourself come undone on my best friend's face.” He was challenging you. You can’t help but close your eyes and let out a whimper as you take one of your hands to set it on the back of Kendall’s head.
“What if I want to?” You tease.
Stewy then brings his lips to your clit and kisses you softly.
“Don’t you dare.” Kendall growls.
Stewy now begins to now go a little faster since he was under a time limit. He begins to add his tongue in the mix.
You gasp and then let out a shaky, breathless moan.
“Oh, Kendall, his mouth feels so good on me.” You breathe out, grinding your hips into Stewy’s mouth. It was true, he worked you well with his tongue, but you also loved to tease your boyfriend and make him jealous.
“Yeah?” He questions, squeezing your breasts harder now, “You think so?”
“Fuck, yes.”
Stewy grabs your ankles and puts your legs over his shoulders and fucks you with his tongue, leaving kisses on you over and over before going back to using his tongue, his soft facial hair tickling your inner thighs.
As you continue to grind your hips back and forth, your ass would brush against Kendall’s clothed crotch. You could feel how hard he was getting. You moan out before taking your hand off of the back of his head to bring it to slide in his pants. As soon as he realises what you're trying to do, he lets out a groan and undoes his pants to make it easier for you.
You spit on your hand then bring it back down to wrap it around his half-hard member and begin to stroke him. He lets out another sound and soon, he is fully hard in your hand.
Listening to Kendall’s sounds and having Stewy’s tongue fuck you, you can’t help but let out a loud moan.You bring your free hand to go through Stewy’s hair. This was most definitely the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done.
“Don’t you dare cum baby. I mean it.” Kendall grunts out.
“Try and stop me then.” You reply and let out another whimper.
You look down at the phone screen beside you; Stewy still has a minute and twenty seconds left. You honestly didn’t know if you could last that much longer. You arch your back and continue to stroke Kendall and tighten your grip on Stewy’s hair.
When Stewy brings his lips to your clit and nibbles down lightly, you can’t hold back and you are so close to the edge.
“I’m right there Ken. Fuck I’m so close baby.”
Stewy chuckles in satisfaction and keeps on going, his chuckle vibrates through you.
“No, don’t you even think about it. Don’t you,”
With the clock now at forty seconds left, you cry out a pathetic noise as your second orgasm of the night hits you. You remove your hand from Kendall’s cock to let it join your other hand in Stewy’s hair and tug lightly as you bring his face closer to you.
He licks you clean before pulling his face away. He has a satisfied grin on his face. “Look at that, I still have about thirty seconds to spare.”
You catch your breath and grin up at him before turning your body to face Kendall. He is putting his cock back in his pants even though he was still so painfully hard for you. “I told you I didn’t want you to cum for him. Get up.” He orders, “It’s my fucking turn with you.”
When you stand up, Kendall also stands before looking at Stewy, waiting for him to sit down on the couch with you. Stewy can’t help but chuckle,
“Damn Ken, I just gave your girl an orgasm and you’re not even going to let her catch her breath?” He jokes.
“No, she doesn’t deserve to get a break.” He replies and looks over at you, “Sit down, spread your legs.”
You look over at Stewy and he just looks at you before shrugging with a smile and takes Kendall’s place, sitting down so he can be behind you.
Kendall doesn’t waste another second. As soon as you’re sitting down, he pulls your legs apart and his mouth is on your cunt immediately.
“God, your boyfriend is so impatient when he’s jealous.” Stewy says, but he doesn’t even bother to restart the timer. He just wanted you to enjoy your boyfriend’s mouth, no matter how long you needed it for.
Kendall didn’t even care about this “challenge” anymore. All he cared about was getting you to cum quicker for him. He wanted to prove to you that he was the best one for you. That he could fuck you best, whether if it was with his tongue, fingers or his cock. He needed you to know that nobody else could do it like him. He needed to be the best… just like he always did for everything.
He fucks you with his tongue harder than his best friend did. He had eaten you out many times so he knew exactly how you liked it.
You begin to moan out, you were much more sensitive now since you came literally thirty seconds ago. You begin to bring your one hand down to Stewy’s crotch, as you wanted to do the same with him since it was only fair, but he pulls your hand away,
“No, no sweetheart. Don’t worry about me. Just focus on Kendall.” He says in your ear, “Focus on his mouth on you. How does it feel?”
“Good. It feels… good.” You whimper out.
“Yeah? Do you like when Ken eats your pussy like this?”
“Fuck… yes.” You bring your head down to look at Kendall’s face in between your thighs.
“What else do you like Kendall to do to you huh?”
“I- I like it when he… when he fucks me with his fingers.” You whisper.
“Don’t tell me that, tell him.”
You can’t help but whimper before you speak again, “I like it when you use your fingers on my Kendall.” Hearing you say this makes him groan into your pussy. “And I love it when you… fuck me Kendall. No one can do it like you can.”
“There you go. Keep telling him that, let him know that you mean it sweetheart.”
“Only you know how to fuck me the way I want it Kendall, only you.”
Kendall moans into you.
“I’m all yours Kendall, all fucking yours.” This is the last thing you say before you are cumming again, for a third time. Kendall doesn’t remove his mouth from you until you are fully over your orgasm. He kisses your clit softly a couple of more times before standing back up.
“I think that was better than last time.” Kendall says as he grins in satisfaction.
“Oh, one hundred percent.” His best friend replies. “How do you feel sweetheart?”
You smile, “Good. I feel good.”
#kendall roy#jeremy strong#succession#fanfic#ao3#fanfiction#kendall roy x reader#kendall roy x you#kendall roy smut#stewy hosseini#kendall x stewy#stewy x kendall#stewy hosseini x you
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soooo sick of hanging around binary trans men who’re just itching to say “make men manly again” because they think a feminine transmasc is a bad rep/personally upsets them. like bitch I don’t care. you’re not at all special for being a man who dislikes feminine men. you’re not the first and not the last. go join one of the many, many clubs of macho men who hate feminine men, like idk your local barstool sports instagram or the NRA. you’ll fit in just fine.
#like. if your journey to masculinity is rocky. whatever. you can have this discomfort or this opinion. but do not act like you’re special or#you’re doing anyone else a favor. you’re just joining the leagues of cisgender people who want to make all of our lives harder. have fun!#genuinely: go be that guy if that’s the man you want to be. but that’s not the man I want to be personally.#lee speaks
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Pov : when you insecure but you remember you follow my blog
(HELP,I'm not narcissistic, I think I'm going to rebuild my Tokio hotel fanclub discord server to make a normal server to welcome y'all cuz i'm the best 🥰)
#bill kaulitz#tokio hotel#tokiohotel#tom kaulitz#georg listing#billkaulitz#gustav schafer#gustav schäfer#2000s#2000s nostalgia#discord chat#discord stuff
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S08e20 Essence
I dont usually like those opening monologues but that was pretty good
Wtf is going on with the intro
I dont remember any of the stuff in the recap
Omg baby shower!!! How Scully doesn’t have any friends
Ewww Zeus genetics
Oh yeah, Mulder’s unemployed.
I heart John Dogget.
GERMANTOWN??? Thats from the episodes colony and end game in season 2
Doggets boston accent is perfect i love him (i hated him at first)
I don’t trust this bitch Lizzy, i feel like something happened when i wasn’t paying attention
“I think she trusts me” “we’re almost at the end” NO WAY DOG LEAVE SCULLY ALONE
I may have to dip after season 8 idk how much more of this i can take. What’s worse? Season 9 or the revival?
Oh shit that’s billy miles (im awful with faces)
Guess who’s back- back again- billy’s back- tell a friend
TENDING WOUNDS AAAA
HE READ THEM ALL
Friendly reminder that aliens bleed green and mulder is not color blind
I just accidentally turned the volume of my headphones all the way up and it was not pleasant
“My (our) baby is fine, Mulder.”
“Come on in we just need some space to talk” ?????
Shes staring at his lips
Petition to save Dogget from third wheeling with MSR
Some body kill this Lizzy bitch
Ooooohhhh wtf how did his head just fall off like that
SKINNER
Dad!skinner being like Mulder wtf are you here and are you the dad
A POOL RUNNING AT THE FBI
Why do the keep using the term barren just infertile
Are you the dad, yes or no???
No no no no no leave Scully alone and stop tampering with her pills you freak
“Everything is fine” mhm. I believe you.
“This is all my fault.” Yeah Maggie, it kinda is
Human clones? Dawg? Fr?
Protective!Mulder ❤️
*buzzer noises* you are NOT the father
This isnt about txf scully, its only about you 😭😭😭
I just want this episode to be over the show should’ve ended around at season 5 (although i do love FTF)
“Docta parentayy” i love his fucking accent
Fucking fucking Billy Miles go AWAY
Scully finally wearing a fucking seat belt for once
IS THAT FUCKING KRYCEK NO DO NOT GET IN THE CAR
“You’re all listening to someone he tried to kill me” JOIN THE FUCKING CLUB DOGGET HE’S TRIED TO KILL EVERYONE
AGAIN WITH THAT WORD WHY DO WE KEEP SAYING BARREN
God is real??? That’s what we’re getting from this???
“Why don’t you just shut up?” I ❤️ agent dogget
THE PAKING GARAGE
“Your ass stays here” yeah you tell him skinner
Reyes 🤤🤤
This is shaving YEARS off my life
The only thought going through my head as Scully and Reyes drive away is “let’s go girls” (du du da da du du)
THEY JUST THREW BILLY MILES OFF A BUILDING INTO A TRASH TRUCK WTF
#fox mulder#dana scully#the x files#x files#msr#txf#msr fanfic#x files fanfic#walter skinner#john doggett#monica reyes#season 8#existence
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south park high school headcanons
TW for drinking and smoking (i have t watched the post pandemic special, so i don’t quite consider if canon..? I dunno though please don’t come for me-)
Eric Cartman:
Doesn’t give a shit about school tbh
I mean he’s probably a solid C/D student
Probably sits next to the teacher, lmao
He’s a pretentious little bitch, we know this, and he probably just harasses kids all the time
Like if there’s a presentation or something he’s probably pretending to be asleep or something
(especially if it’s Kyle)
Probably makes fun of everyone for their class choices
”Oh of course Kahl is taking economics. Those damn Jews” or “Kenny, why are you taking home economics if we all know you’re poor as hell and don’t have any food in your trailer to make this shit anyway?”
Was probably that one annoying kid who laughed during sex ed
Flips the teachers off when they aren’t looking
Is probably an angel to all the teachers but to the students, he’s a massive dick
Probably tried making Kyle fail his classes by hacking into the website
They only knew it was him because for comments/observations tab he put some ‘stupid Jew’ spiel
He’s dumb as shit sometimes
Bullies freshmen
Probably started Freshie Friday
Hes the kind of person to spray Axe Body Speay everywhere and has probably made multiple people sick because of it
Failing Gym
Mainly because he never makes up classes and refused to swim in ‘contaminated water’ (probably aimed at the girls or Kenny)
Doesnt date through high school
because nobody wanted to date a neonazi manipulative asshole
Probably didn’t do any clubs
He probably joined the Gay Straight Alliance (run probably by Big Gay Al) and ripped on everyone there
Got bored and never went back after he ran out of jokes
Honestly he’s probably to lazy to do any clubs after school
He doesn’t like staying in school after he’s already
Probably has gotten suspended a few times
(likely for putting a cherry bomb in Kyle’s locker)
Im kinda lost on Cartman lmao
Stan Marsh
Honestly? He probably drank a lot in high school
Kyle often had to take care of him and scold him for drinking
Stan’s probably a B/C student
Probably studies better in a group than alone
Thanks the stars that Shelley is a senior and will leave him alone
(though I do think she somewhat mellowed down, though she still threatens to beat the fuck out of him sometimes)
And Sharon probably helps him when she isn’t busy
But he feels awkward going to her for help
Randy is awful to study with
”So if I have x amounts of condoms and y amounts of-“ “Fuck this Im calling Kyle”
Kyle is his study buddy when he can’t turn to anyone else
which is pretty often
He pays pretty good attention in class
Probably still dating Wendy tbh
Stan definitely wears like zip up hoodies and ripped jeans and such
Probably bleached the lower half of his hair
it didn’t look good
His hair’s greasy af i’m calling it
Its fluffy when he washes it but that’s a rarity
Uses 3 in 1
wears gloves everywhere
lowkey germaphobe
Probably joined some sort of after school activity
Probably some sort of helping the community club
Tbh he failed chemistry multiple times
Hes trying though
Graduates with probably a solid 3.2 GPA
(idk how colorado does it i’m just going based off of where i live)
Probably goes to college and then drops out after two years
Works a few jobs because he wants to get out of the house
Overall good student, 7/10
Kyle Broflovski
That rare breed between nerd and jock
Hes probably one of those athletic kids getting awards and stuff all the time
Def on the swim team during the fall/spring and the basketball team during the winter
Also does a bunch of those community clubs (things that you would join to get into NHS)
His parents are probably super strict about grades
Theyre all about ‘keeping a good example for Ike’
So he usually beats himself up if he gets a grade below a 95
Speaking of, he’s probably top of his class ngl
Very smart
Studies better alone and probably isn’t the greatest at helping others study, but he’s trying
Honestly probably gets a little less insecure(?) about his hair and doesn’t wear his hat as much
Still barely takes it off but he’ll leave it off during sporting events
I know that thing smells like ass/hj
Probably wears a lot of flannels and t-shirts
Has reading glasses (they’re thick rimmed and brown)
Either that or he wears contact lenses but glasses are more convenient for him
Doesnt like wearing them because they remind him of his cousin Kyle Schwartz
Probably in all honors/AP/college courses
Gets academic awards a lot
He probably did band for one year to fulfill one of his miscellaneous credits (he played clarinet)
He’s probably one of the sweeter kids though, sports help him work through his anger issues
Still snaps at Cartman a lot though
Sometimes doesn’t take good care of himself between sports and studying
So Stan whips him into line
Probably had one partner through high school, doesn’t really play around much
Either that or he doesn’t date at all, he’s just too busy
If he were to date it’s be in junior/senior year, maybe sophomore year if it was the right person and they weren’t needy or too demanding of his time
Probably graduated with an advanced diploma
Goes to some ivy league school
Solid 4.0/4.1 GPA
Majors in math and minors in science
Kenny McCormick
Ngl he doesn’t give a shit
Probably failing some of his classes, has a few B’s, some D’s, he’s really scattered when it comes to grades
Probably skips class sometimes when he doesn’t feel like going
Still wears that same parka
He’s still taking home economics/hj
Probably sneaks into the girls changing room as Princess Kenny 🤭
That one kid who has a crush on all his female teachers
”Guys my average is a 69”
Hes the glue to keep all the boys together but tbh I feel like they drift apart and go their own directions during high school
They probably have like-game days on Saturdays though
He wants to keep the group together though because they’re probably more family than his own family (minus Karen)
Still dies a lot
Probably tries to die so he can get out of doing tests and such
Is the reason they don’t allow costumes at Halloween (he was def a playboy bunny)
Probably takes a lot of non honors/no college courses
The latter even less so because his family can’t afford it
Graduates with a barely passing GPA and goes to community college
Probably ended up dropping out tho
But he still makes sure to keep in touch with all the boys (minus cartman but he keeps in touch with Butters)
Butters Stotch
(speaking of-)
Honestly? Solid B student
Is probably still the most naive of the group, though he does stick up for himself now
Doesn’t like being called Butters much but Leopald is worse
So he either goes by Butters or Leo
Probably has a knack for history??
Honestly doesn’t do all honors courses, proabbly does honors history and maybeeee honors English
Sucks at math
His parents ground him a lot because of this
So he ends up with a tutor
He goes to the girls’ sleepovers as Margerine sometimes
Grew out of his Hello Kitty obsession :(
(…tbh he was probably into Pusheen at some point-)
Anyway
Probably has a solid 3.5 GPA or something
Doesn’t graduate at the top of his class but he isn’t the dumbest person in the room
Probably is involved in the theater department
Honestly very artsy??
Probably takes a lot of art classes because he loves it so much
Majors in it!!
Probably minors in history too :)
Hes pretty nice to everyone in his classes and maybe even dates in high school..?
His parents don’t like it though
And he can’t go out much because he gets grounded a lot still
Overall pretty good!!
Tolkien Black
Probably still dating Nicole
Salutatorian
Probably competes with Kyle a lot because of academics
Hes in the band
Plays trumpet
Of course Cartman says shit about this all the time, I’m calling it
Him and Kyle do butt heads a lot but honestly I feel like they’d end up being pretty good friends
Still cringed at his old TikToks
Hes probably in most AP/honors classes
Probably majors in music in college?
Or maybe he minors in it
Most likely the latter
He’a your go to study person
He’s pretty nice about it too, he doesn’t shame you for getting the answers wrong
He’s that one kid who has house parties a lot when his parents aren’t home
Mainly because Cartman kept calling him a pussy and saying he had no balls
Doesn’t have alcohol though
Him and Nicole were probably voted cutest couple
Them or Tweek and Craig
He hangs out with Clyde a lot and helps him with his courses
Hes probably class president tbh
Or maybe vice president
His parents donate tons of money to the school
Hes pretty level headed and calm during tests and quizzes
He’s really focused and motivated in school
Overall solid 3.9 GPA
Probably only behind Kyle by very little
And he’s okay with it
He probably goes to some hardcore Ivy League school like Harvard or Yale or some shit
Probably uses music as a side hustle in college to help pay for his classes
He was hellbent on paying for colllege alone, or mostly alone. He didn’t want people thinking he was only at said college because he was rich.
Pretty good overall, 10/10
Clyde Donovan
Clyde…is Clyde
Hes a dumbass
A lovable dumbass big a dumbass nonetheless
Scored so low on his SAT the first time he took it
Cries to Tolkien all the time because of his grades but when Tolkien tries to help him he gets distracted and leaves
He’s that one hella sporty kid though
Definitely captain of the soccer team
Probably in the Gay Straight Alliance for ‘shits and giggles’ but then finds out he’s pan, lmao
I feel like him and Bebe are really tight
They go shoe shopping together
Cries when he loses Kahoot
Uses Chat GDP to talk to girls 🫢
Honestly is probably like-weirdly good at math but nothing else
Calls Kyle and Tolkien his algebros whenever they’re grouped together
(i kinda hdc that he’s in honors math too with kyle and tolkien)
That honors math course saved his GPA
honestly it’s probably a 3.0 or a 3.1
Hes not completely dumb though
He gets a lot of sports awards and stuff
Kinda headcanon Clyde to have dyslexia?
So maybe that makes things a little more difficult for him
Studies better in groups
Gets easily distracted tho
He’s a horrible test taker
Cries whenever he can’t figure out the answer
Overall, he’s kinda mid
He probably goes to college tho
He stays in college for two years before he graduates
He was probably their star football player, so they were probably sad to see him go
But academically, he’s not great
Craig Tucker
Science geek
Mainly Earth Science but any science is basically a second language to him
He’s honestly probably good at English too?? like he’s a really good writer
Hes probably in honors English and Science
He combusts when it comes to geometry and map work
He’s bad with dates
Like he can hardly remember his anniversary with Tweek or his own birthday half the time
He’s pretty good at helping people study if it’s one on one
He’ll bully some people harder than others when it comes to helping them though
Goes after Clyde a lot of the time whenever he comes over for extra help
”Of you would leave I would be sooooo happy.”
He’s nice with Tweek though
Helps him not to panic during tests and such, probably gives him a lot of fidget toys too
(most of which are space themed)
Speaking of, I do kinda headcanon Craig with some kind of neurodivergent condition like autism or something
I kinda feel like space would be his special interest
He mellowed out a lot after middle school, but he still flips everyone off
Thats usually the extent though
His locker is an absolute mess, I already know it
The teachers for the most part like him
He pays attention and such
Probably wears reading glasses, they’re thin though and he doesn’t wear them a lot
Eric third wheels him and Tweek’s study dates a lot too
He studies online using things like Quizlet and stuff
Loves reading
He’s probably snuck out of class a few times, but doesn’t do it often
Solid 3.7/3.8 GPA
Probably in the top 20% in his class
Goes to a pretty good college, probably on the west coast like in California or something
He’s pretty good in school
Tweek Tweak
Horrible test taker
Probably has to go to a different room, which just stresses him out more
Tbh Eric probably got him to get high once or twice
It did calm him down but it also freaked Craig the fuck out
Especially because this was during lunch
Tweek was fine, he was just extraordinarily sick and Craig was not happy
The teachers don’t really like Tweek
They think he’s a distraction and a ‘bad influence’ for other kids because of his freak outs
He hogs the coffee machine at school istg
I kinda headcanon Tweek to have acid reflux too?? So his stomach ends up gurgling in class and making weird sounds and the teachers get mad-
And this freaks him out even more because he thinks he’s dying
”Why is it doing that?! Why?! Did someone poison the coffee?! Did the underpants gnomes come back?! GAH!”
He’s hella good in gym class
Tweek on the track team??? anyone???
It helps him burn through some of his anxiety
He probably has a 504 too after his parents kept getting calls about his anxiety
Goes to the school counselor a lot
He probably brings fidget toys to class a lot and often has to give Craig his phone so he doesn’t end up getting hooked in on something some celebrity said and then start freaking out
He’s probably really good at English
Reading helps him forget about his anxiety for a bit
He always has to double/triple check to make sure he hasn’t missed anything
He uses his agenda religiously
Its probably stained with coffee and smells like a mixture of coffee and honey and sweat
His hands sweat and shake a lot during tests
He’s probably barely passing math, Craig helps him through science
He’s alright in social studies
His lowest grade is probably a 75
Craig and Tolkien help him out a lot too
I feel like he studies better one on one though
Too many people in one group makes him feel easily overwhelmed
He probably graduates with a 3.4 GPA or so
Goes to college in New England, he thinks city life will calm him down
Spoiler, it doesn’t
He probably drops out after a year or two before applying somewhere on the West coast to be closer to Craig and some of his other friends
English major and art minor??
I feel like he’s really good at art too
Art helps him vent in a healthy manner
Good student, not great, but good
Wendy Testaburger
Honestly? She’s actually low key smart
She was probably third in her class
She’s very good in math and english
She probably takes all the super hard classes too to ‘challenge herself’
She probably invites all the girls (maybe Princess Kenny and Margerine/hj) over for study date sleepovers
They never end up studying
But it does make for a pretty good time
Shes a really good test taker, but she probably ends up being too hard on herself too
Stan probably (reluctantly) asks her for help a lot of the time too
Social studies is the thing she excels in the most
Especially women’s history
She’s probably in a lot of clubs too, like the community service clubs
Shes secretary of her class, methinks
(I think Tolkien would be president, Kyle would be VP, she would be secretary and Bebe would be treasurer)
Cartman ran but they found out he rigged the votes
She’s all for being just and fair, so this pissed her off to no end
She needs glasses, her eyesight worsened after middle school
So freshman year she got glasses
I can see her doing girls wrestling
Shes probably a somewhat sporty kid, not like Kyle sporty but sporty nonetheless
She’s kind of a geek too lol
I feel like her and Kyle and Bebe are actually pretty good friends
They play chess together lol
Shes actually really sweet to like, new kids and such-probably shows them around
She gets some muscle after wrestling for so long
She also probably does track and field
I can see her being really good in long jumping
She kinda sucks at science though
She takes French
She graduates with a 3.85/3.95 GPA
Probably leaning towards the latter number
She probably goes to the west coast as well, probably somewhere in Nevada or California as well
She does pretty well, she goes to a really good school and probably majors in History and minors in English
I can see her being an English:History teacher
Probably for younger kids though
She stays on Twitch with Bebe and Heidi for hours istg
Shes so sweet, i love wendy tbh
Bebe Stevens
I know her mom is like the dumb blonde stereotype, but I feel like Bebe would be somewhat smart
She’s probably not top of her class but that’s not to say she’s not smart
She honestly is probably in the top 10% of her class
Her and Wendy and Kyle probably do study sessions together
She’s really competitive, so she kinda gets mad if Wendy gets a better score than her lol
Shes really artsy
Took AP art
Shes probably in AP Social Studies and honors English as well
Shes fine with reading, she doesn’t like it, but she’ll do it
Shes really good at math tho
Shes not so good at science, similarly to Wendy
So usually Kyle takes the lead on science during study sessions
She’s that one kid to be like ‘tall the substitute teacher is so hot!’ unironically
Shes hella hood at sewing
She’s probably gonna end up going into fashion tbh
She’s oddly good with money
Treasurer of her class
She probably helps organize prom and homecoming and stuff
Doesn’t date, she crushes around though, but she never actually asked anyone out
She’s really intense ngl, she probably taught Wendy how to fight
She’s on the cheer team
She isn’t a prick though, she’s probably one of the most bubbly cheerleaders out there tbh
Shes also in art club
Maybe does theater too?
She’s in band and choir, she actually has a really lovely voice
She can play flute really well too
Shes pretty smart, solid 3.7/3.8 GPA
Graduates and goes to a New England school, like in New York or Connecticut
She majors in Fashion Design and minors in Art
Heidi Turner
She’s not the brightest
Not to say she isn’t smart, she just isn’t very academically inclined
She probably takes a lot of the mythology classes and such
Shes really into star signs and crystals
Her and Craig started a ‘Space Club’ and actually got a few members to join
She kicked Eric out tho
She’s hella hood at Math and English
The rest is history
Sges probably grown a lot since the whole ‘Cartwoman’ incident
And she’s a lot kinder to people now
She’s weird, but a good kind of weird
She gives away crystals as a gift a lot to new freshman
Shes in the choir!!
She actually has a really amazing voice, she’s been doing choir for years
Shes that one senior that all the freshman flock to because she’s the kindest
She stands up for them where they’re being bullied too, tells them to be wary of Cartman
Shes hella short (4’11’’)
So she often gets picked on like ‘aw, someone went into the wrong building!’ or something stupid like that
She’s so sweet though, she’s that one friend who offers to help you with your homework and then just gives you all the answers
She graduates with maybe a 3.6 GPA or so
She probably stays local tbh, for college
Either that or she would go down to New York or smth
Probably gets into a decent school and majors in music
Wait no, she majors in psychology and minors in music
She becomes an art and music therapist, she loves helping people out
i love heidi 🤭
reblog >>>>> liking
#south park#headcanons#south park headcanons#eric cartman#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#kenny mccormick#butters stotch#clyde donovan#craig tucker#tweek tweak#tolkien black#wendy testaburger#bebe stevens#heidi turner#headcanon#south park school headcanons
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My favorite part about joining tumblr like nearly a year ago now is the fact I was a lurker for years and years.
And I always thought "man I'd be too wierd tho. I'm not a "normal fan" I'm a messed up gremlin fan, they'd all make fun of me and my drawings I bet"
Switch up to now. I'm pretty sure I'm my mutuals designated Basic Bitch(positive) whom loves them and gives them a thumbs up when we pass ways.
Also like it's tumblr lmao! idk what I was thinking "people would make fun of me" DUDE this place is just a glorified middle school anime/gaming club where we all yap and make silly jokes while singing themes songs.
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A week ago, I was officially made the leader of the FC I've been a part of since I started playing in 2019. I've unofficially been handling all of the day-to-day FC stuff for years at this point, to the point where most of the people who have joined in the last two years have thought I was the leader, so nothing has actually changed.
Except I kind of feel like everything has.
I've mostly just been keeping the FC on maintenance mode: we don't really do many events anymore and our weekly mount farming excursions stopped well over a year ago. We don't really have many new people coming in and more and more people have stopped playing so it's often a ghost town and it honestly makes me sadder than I thought it would.
So I really want to try and revive it, but recruiting is honestly disheartening a little. I don't like shouting a recruitment pitch in cities because I hate to see those myself. I also refuse to send out blind invites because those are a menace. So I end up sending unsolicited tells to people who don't have an FC, which I feel is the least offensive option. At least someone can just ignore it if they don't want to join and I do jot down the names of people I've asked so I don't bother them again.
I've gotten two new people this way in the past week (three if you count one of them asking if his girlfriend can join at the same time), but I really think I wanna put something up on Community Finder. But before I do that, I want to restructure the FC internally. Something to actually lean into the name (Jagd Vacation Club) and make it feel more cohesive. Plus, the idea of a group of people being ridiculous enough to vacation in a Jagd is hilarious to me and I kind of incorporate that into my WoL's canon.
But then I worry about changing TOO much? Mostly because the founder/previous leader IS still around, just not in much of a capacity to do much of anything, though I have left him as an officer. But part of me feels like I'm going to be judged for making certain decisions, but I really really hope that won't be the case. And if it is, well, I guess this is my FC now so I can do with it what I want?
IDK I'm thinking way too much about this. Basically, I just want to make a nice little community to do fun stuff in-game with again. I miss our map nights or mount farm nights and our glam contests and FC room contests and stuff like that. So I guess I gotta be the bitch that makes it happen lmao.
#this is SUPER naval gazey and i'm sorry#mostly i'm just trying to organize my thoughts at being de jure in charge and not just de facto in charge
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